Of late, I find myself mostly reading non-fiction, but when I heard of Robert Harris' recent novel "Conclave", and the mixed reviews it received, I was curious.
A few hundred page later, I was reminded of Dorothy Parker's bon mot: this was not a book to be lightly cast aside, but to be flung with much force. (Unfortunately, since I read it on a mobile device, that wasn't really an option.)
What is sad about Conclave is that without the final and ludicrous plot twist that it all hinges on (and which I shall shamelessly spoil below for your spiritual profit - including with my blog post title. Ain't I a stinker?), it's actually a fairly decent book. Harris, best known for his historical fiction (including the alternate-reality "Fatherland", in which the Germans under Hitler won World War II), has clearly done his homework carefully in trying to paint a realistic picture of how a conclave would proceed today. Despite his coy protestations to the reader, the "Holy Father" who has just died in his novel has much in common with Pope Francis, and it's telling that he is never named.
The protagonist of Conclave is Cardinal Jacopo Lomeli, Dean of the College of Cardinals. Following the sudden death of the Pope from a heart attack, we see the proceedings of the subsequent conclave through his eyes, as he interacts with the Cardinal-electors and more specifically with those viewed as "front-runners": Nigerian Joshua Adeyemi (shades of Cardinals Arinze or Sarah), Italians Gino Bellini (quite similar to the late Cardinal Martini) and Tedesco (who seems to be a broad caricature of a Traditional Catholic) and Canadian Joe Tremblay (Cardinal Ouellet?)
Just before the Conclave formally begins, a dark horse arrives - Cardinal Benitez, a native of the Philippines who was Archbishop of Baghdad (don't ask) and was named a cardinal in pectore by the late Holy Father. It's telegraphed pretty blatantly from the start that Benitez is a dark horse candidate and potential winner, which is not too far-fetched - Blessed Pope Pius IX, for instance, was named a cardinal in pectore by Pope Gregory XVI, so there is a historical precedent at least.
What follows is "And Then There Were None: The Papal Edition", in which a front-runner arises, is cut off by the disclosure of a scandal, and the next arises. Rinse, lather, repeat. After an indecisive first ballot (in which Bellini, the media favourite, underperforms), the next couple of votes give the edge to Cardinal Adeyemi, who stands on the verge of becoming the first African Pope. Unfortunately for him, a past indiscretion (he had an affair with a young novice while in his thirties, and fathered an illegitimate child) is revealed by a curious machination, and Lomeli persuades him to step aside.
The next favourite to emerge is Cardinal Tremblay, but after a fairly contrived plot twist, he, too, is disgraced by the revelation that he not only engineered Adeyemi's exposure (he denies this and accuses the deceased Pope), but also bought votes in the Papal conclave by siphoning official funds and paying them to Cardinals in poor countries. Moreover, it now emerges that the late Pope was collecting evidence against Tremblay.
It seems that the traditionalist Tedesco is in with a strong chance, but those opposed to him then rally around an unwilling Lomeli (who was not considered a strong contender), and for a moment, they seem to be neck and neck. And that's when the weird stuff happens.
First, a terrorist attack on multiple Catholic centres by radical Islamic elements (reminiscent of ISIS, though they, like the Pope, are never named) scares the heck out of everyone. Tedesco uses this opportunity to try and rally everyone to his cause, but his inflammatory remarks backfire after Cardinal Benitez quietly points out that Western intervention in Iraq has not truly helped to defeat radical Islam. The final vote is a surprising (not really) landslide for Benitez, who takes the Papal name Innocent.
Okay, so far, so cute: the Traditional Cardinal is defeated by a foot-in-mouth own goal rather than by any scandal, and Benitez (who seems, up to this point, to be based on Cardinal Tagle) chooses a fairly traditional Papal name. But wait, there's one more chapter to go!
And what a chapter it is. We learn that Benitez is actually a biological female, born with ambiguous genitalia, who was raised as a boy and lived as a man. When injured by a terrorist attack in Baghdad, he learned the truth about himself. Distraught and feeling guilty, he visits the late Holy Father to tender his resignation - but the Pope ambiguously refuses, leaving it up to him, and later makes him a Cardinal in pectore. In other words, yes, The. New. Pope. Is. A. Biological. Woman, and Not Pope Francis sort of engineered his ascension to the Papacy.
You're allowed to either laugh out loud or throw up right now. I did both.
What was a reasonably good tale of Church politics and scandals till then was derailed by this utterly ridiculous revelation, which smacks of nothing other than trying to jump on the woman priests / "liberal Catholic" / LGBTQ bandwagon. If there was an Index of Forbidden Books, Conclave could be its poster-boy (or girl. Ain't I funny?)
There are other factual errors (such as a very dubious act by Lomeli which could be construed as breaking the seal of Confession, and the labelling of the late Marcel Lefebvre as a "heretic" - note, Mr. Harris, heresy is not the same as schism or an "irregular canonical situation"), but to point those out after what I've described above would simply be flogging a dead horse.
If you're interested in getting a popular / progressive caricature of What's Wrong With The Church, and are strong in your faith, you might find this book worth reading for a laugh or two. Otherwise, don't bother.
The most charitable thing I can say about Conclave, as a novel about the Church, is that it's better than The Third Secret by Steve Berry. Don't get me started on that one.
And if you're looking for a palate cleanser after reading that, let me plug two very good (and criminally unknown) novels by a Catholic author, addressing hard Catholic questions, here!
St. Francis de Sales, pray for us all, especially for the author of this book.
A few hundred page later, I was reminded of Dorothy Parker's bon mot: this was not a book to be lightly cast aside, but to be flung with much force. (Unfortunately, since I read it on a mobile device, that wasn't really an option.)
What is sad about Conclave is that without the final and ludicrous plot twist that it all hinges on (and which I shall shamelessly spoil below for your spiritual profit - including with my blog post title. Ain't I a stinker?), it's actually a fairly decent book. Harris, best known for his historical fiction (including the alternate-reality "Fatherland", in which the Germans under Hitler won World War II), has clearly done his homework carefully in trying to paint a realistic picture of how a conclave would proceed today. Despite his coy protestations to the reader, the "Holy Father" who has just died in his novel has much in common with Pope Francis, and it's telling that he is never named.
The protagonist of Conclave is Cardinal Jacopo Lomeli, Dean of the College of Cardinals. Following the sudden death of the Pope from a heart attack, we see the proceedings of the subsequent conclave through his eyes, as he interacts with the Cardinal-electors and more specifically with those viewed as "front-runners": Nigerian Joshua Adeyemi (shades of Cardinals Arinze or Sarah), Italians Gino Bellini (quite similar to the late Cardinal Martini) and Tedesco (who seems to be a broad caricature of a Traditional Catholic) and Canadian Joe Tremblay (Cardinal Ouellet?)
Just before the Conclave formally begins, a dark horse arrives - Cardinal Benitez, a native of the Philippines who was Archbishop of Baghdad (don't ask) and was named a cardinal in pectore by the late Holy Father. It's telegraphed pretty blatantly from the start that Benitez is a dark horse candidate and potential winner, which is not too far-fetched - Blessed Pope Pius IX, for instance, was named a cardinal in pectore by Pope Gregory XVI, so there is a historical precedent at least.
What follows is "And Then There Were None: The Papal Edition", in which a front-runner arises, is cut off by the disclosure of a scandal, and the next arises. Rinse, lather, repeat. After an indecisive first ballot (in which Bellini, the media favourite, underperforms), the next couple of votes give the edge to Cardinal Adeyemi, who stands on the verge of becoming the first African Pope. Unfortunately for him, a past indiscretion (he had an affair with a young novice while in his thirties, and fathered an illegitimate child) is revealed by a curious machination, and Lomeli persuades him to step aside.
The next favourite to emerge is Cardinal Tremblay, but after a fairly contrived plot twist, he, too, is disgraced by the revelation that he not only engineered Adeyemi's exposure (he denies this and accuses the deceased Pope), but also bought votes in the Papal conclave by siphoning official funds and paying them to Cardinals in poor countries. Moreover, it now emerges that the late Pope was collecting evidence against Tremblay.
It seems that the traditionalist Tedesco is in with a strong chance, but those opposed to him then rally around an unwilling Lomeli (who was not considered a strong contender), and for a moment, they seem to be neck and neck. And that's when the weird stuff happens.
First, a terrorist attack on multiple Catholic centres by radical Islamic elements (reminiscent of ISIS, though they, like the Pope, are never named) scares the heck out of everyone. Tedesco uses this opportunity to try and rally everyone to his cause, but his inflammatory remarks backfire after Cardinal Benitez quietly points out that Western intervention in Iraq has not truly helped to defeat radical Islam. The final vote is a surprising (not really) landslide for Benitez, who takes the Papal name Innocent.
Okay, so far, so cute: the Traditional Cardinal is defeated by a foot-in-mouth own goal rather than by any scandal, and Benitez (who seems, up to this point, to be based on Cardinal Tagle) chooses a fairly traditional Papal name. But wait, there's one more chapter to go!
And what a chapter it is. We learn that Benitez is actually a biological female, born with ambiguous genitalia, who was raised as a boy and lived as a man. When injured by a terrorist attack in Baghdad, he learned the truth about himself. Distraught and feeling guilty, he visits the late Holy Father to tender his resignation - but the Pope ambiguously refuses, leaving it up to him, and later makes him a Cardinal in pectore. In other words, yes, The. New. Pope. Is. A. Biological. Woman, and Not Pope Francis sort of engineered his ascension to the Papacy.
You're allowed to either laugh out loud or throw up right now. I did both.
What was a reasonably good tale of Church politics and scandals till then was derailed by this utterly ridiculous revelation, which smacks of nothing other than trying to jump on the woman priests / "liberal Catholic" / LGBTQ bandwagon. If there was an Index of Forbidden Books, Conclave could be its poster-boy (or girl. Ain't I funny?)
There are other factual errors (such as a very dubious act by Lomeli which could be construed as breaking the seal of Confession, and the labelling of the late Marcel Lefebvre as a "heretic" - note, Mr. Harris, heresy is not the same as schism or an "irregular canonical situation"), but to point those out after what I've described above would simply be flogging a dead horse.
If you're interested in getting a popular / progressive caricature of What's Wrong With The Church, and are strong in your faith, you might find this book worth reading for a laugh or two. Otherwise, don't bother.
The most charitable thing I can say about Conclave, as a novel about the Church, is that it's better than The Third Secret by Steve Berry. Don't get me started on that one.
And if you're looking for a palate cleanser after reading that, let me plug two very good (and criminally unknown) novels by a Catholic author, addressing hard Catholic questions, here!
St. Francis de Sales, pray for us all, especially for the author of this book.
